Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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