Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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