it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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