Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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