at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
