Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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(305): View more from Florida

he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?

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(772): View more from Florida

You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.

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(425): View more from Washington

I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?

(972): View more from Texas

Well what did you order

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.

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