Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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