So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
