You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
