i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
