If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Someone signed my nipple.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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