I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
