Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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