I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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