Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize