There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Blood and glitter go together right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
