i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
