So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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