I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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