i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
