I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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