if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
