i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
