I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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