I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize