I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All the doctor said was why
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
