I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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