pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
