Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
