How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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