you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize