Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
