We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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