I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
