Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
