Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
