What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
