fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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