I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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