I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize