IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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