doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
