went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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