chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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