i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
