oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
