Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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