just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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