The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
