whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
