We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
