Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
