I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
