Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
