Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
