My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Someone signed my nipple.
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