Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
